Suits
by patientalien
Summary: AU; Ferus and Anakin are ad execs at the same firm, working on a campaign for PR-guru Obi-Wan. When Anakin's past - and present - catch up with him, Ferus tries to unravel the threads and make things right. A/F, A/O, implied A/P. Now includes alt endings!
1. I used to be a renegade

**title** Suits 1/3  
><strong>author<strong> **patientalien**  
><strong>word count<strong> 5,783 (this part) 13,268 (total)  
><strong>rating<strong> R  
><strong>summary<strong> Earth-AU; Ferus and Anakin are ad execs at the same firm, working on a campaign for PR-guru Obi-Wan. When Anakin's past - and present - catch up with him, Ferus tries to unravel the threads and make things right.  
><strong>notes<strong> Thanks, as always, go to **citizenjess**, who listened to me blabber about this far more than it deserved and gave some amazing suggestions It's three parts, but I'm going to post them all at once. :)  
><strong>warnings<strong> substance addiction, non-graphic dub-con, implied underage (barely-legal!Ahsoka)

* * *

><p>Ferus Olin was eating his lunch on a bench outside the AdForce office building, napkin tucked into his collar to keep tuna salad from slopping down his suit, when a yellow Porsche screeched into the parking lot. Ferus glanced at his watch; it was 12:45 in the afternoon, well after the workday was supposed to start.<p>

Ferus tried not to make it obvious he was staring as Anakin Skywalker stepped out of the Porsche, looking impeccable in a suit that cost more than Ferus' own car, hair fashionably disheveled (as opposed, Ferus thought wryly, to just generally disheveled).

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence," Ferus called. Normally he wouldn't say anything, but Anakin's constant tardiness was beginning to grate on him. Though Anakin was one of AdForce's most successful salesmen, his effort seemed minimal at best, and he never put much time in at the office. Ferus, on the other hand, was there ten hours a day, and more often than not came in on the weekends as well. Anakin got to go to parties in the middle of the week; Ferus got to fill out paperwork.

Anakin shot him a grin. "Had an early lunch with a client," he replied, sauntering over to Ferus and clapping him on the shoulder. "Nothing wrong with minding your own business, Olin." Ferus sighed as the smell of cologne and martinis overwhelmed his tuna salad sandwich. "Enjoy your lunch!" Anakin crowed, and swaggered into the building.

Ferus sighed again, and put his lunch back in its bag; he'd lost his appetite.

* * *

><p>The day progressed normally from there. Or, at least as normally as it could for Ferus Olin. Working for one of the country's largest ad agencies meant a fairly hectic workday (for some of us, Ferus thought bitterly as he watched Anakin Skywalker flirt with the administrative assistant). Ferus had barely sat back at his desk when his Outlook reminder popped up, informing him of a meeting he'd forgotten all about. He grabbed his notebook and hightailed it to the conference room, determined not to be the last one there, and determined to see Skywalker get dressed down for being late, yet again.<p>

However, when Anakin came in, fifteen minutes into the meeting, nobody said anything. Not even Mace Windu, their boss and a man who never had anything nice to say about anything, spoke up. Ferus clenched his fists under the table while Anakin pulled out his Blackberry and began blatantly texting.

The conversation revolved around their newest account, a major Public Relations firm, and Ferus found himself taking copious notes. Anakin snorted into his hand about something on his phone, and Ferus glared at him. "So, Kenobi will be here on Monday to meet with Anakin and Ferus to go over the details."

Suddenly, Anakin's head snapped up. "Wait, Kenobi?" he asked.

"There a problem?" Windu responded, glowering. "This job is set to net us a lot of money. I need you on board with this."

Anakin regained his composure almost as quickly as he'd lost it. "No worries," he replied, smoothing his tie. "I just hope Olin doesn't do anything to screw it up." And just like that, the smug superiority was back.

Ferus was not looking forward to this partnership.

* * *

><p>"I gotta cut out of here," Anakin announced an hour before the workday ended. He already had his jacket and sunglasses on, acting like it was completely okay he'd come in three hours late. "Can you compile a dossier on Kenobi's business for me? Thanks!"<p>

He was gone before Ferus could even respond. Truthfully, he'd gotten to work on Kenobi's firm as soon as the meeting had ended. He was certain Anakin hadn't bothered, if the raucous laughter from his cubicle had been any indication. Ferus felt like he was back in school, when his classmates would leave all of the project work to him while they went out and had fun. Anakin was every meathead asshole he'd gone to business school with, and Ferus was sorely tempted to leave the work undone just to prove a point... but he knew he'd be the one to suffer for it, so he stayed until eight at night, pouring over information gleaned from the Internet.

* * *

><p>Ferus was shocked when he pulled in the next morning and saw Anakin's Porsche already in the parking lot, taking up two spaces, but there nonetheless. "Am I dead?" Ferus wondered to himself as he walked past the security station and up to his floor.<p>

He began his morning ritual - coffee in the employee lounge, and a quiet fifteen minutes to go through his emails - but was cut short at step one. Anakin was in the employee lounge, looking like he'd slept in his clothes - Ferus looked closer: yes, definitely the same clothes he'd worn the day before. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Anakin looked up from where he was staring at the coffee pot. "Where does the espresso come out?" he wondered hoarsely.

Ferus rolled his eyes. "It's just a coffee maker," he replied, and pointed down the counter. "The espresso machine is down there." He eyed Anakin critically. "You look like you could use some."

Anakin scowled and moved to the indicated device. "Again, there's this new thing all the kids are doing called minding your own business," Anakin informed him. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"The only explanation I can come up with for that is that you slept here." Ferus poured his coffee - light, with real cream and two sugar packets - while Anakin fought with the espresso machine.

"No law says I can't," Anakin replied. "Who says I didn't come back to the office after I went out for dinner?" He sounded cagey, but that was nothing new. "So, me and you on the Kenobi job." He finally got the machine to spit out the dark brown brew. "Don't fuck it up."

Ferus watched his retreating back and resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. By the time he got to his desk, he decided his day had already been ruined.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Ferus looked up from his computer to see Anakin leaning casually against his desk, arms crossed over his chest. He gave a boyishly grin - Ferus knew the secret to Anakin's success was his charisma, but refused to be swayed by it. Anakin thumbed a picture of Ferus' cat. "This your girlfriend?" he asked with a snort of amusement.<p>

"Your mom was already taken," Ferus shot back, surprised with himself. Being around Anakin obviously brought out the worst him him.

Anakin glowered, but brightened quickly enough. "Since we're gonna be partners," he said, "I've decided to do you a favor." He pulled out his Blackberry. "Take a look at this."

Ferus leaned over to see a nearly-naked photograph of a girl who looked like she was barely legal. Very barely. "Jesus Christ, how old is that girl?" Ferus sputtered, pushing the phone away.

Anakin shrugged, pocketing the Blackberry. "Her name's Ahsoka, and she's old enough. Thought you might need a pick-me-up, and nothing's better than... well, she's very good at cheering people up." A wistful smile crossed his features.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Ferus asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Or is jailbait the new thing?"

"Okay, okay, you don't want to see it, I get it," Anakin said, holding up his hands. "And for one thing, none of your business if I have a girlfriend. For another thing, I happen to have an awesome girlfriend. So. Suck it, Olin." He grabbed a tissue from the box on Ferus' desk and used it to buff out a scuff on his shoe. "I actually came over to see if you wanted to go to lunch and talk about the campaign before we have to get approval from Windu."

Ferus thought about his lonely tuna salad sandwich sequestered away in the staff refrigerator. He wasn't sure he wanted to go anywhere with Anakin, but the idea of a high-powered working lunch was kind of exciting. Anakin was actually treating him like a colleague, at least for the moment, someone who deserved to leave the office in the middle of the day because his work was just that important. "Okay," he said, finally.

Anakin flashed the black Amex provided to him by the company. Ferus only had a gold card, with a piddling credit limit. He tried not to feel jealous. "I say we go to Keene's." Ferus frowned slightly; Keene's was a steakhouse that catered exclusively to men of Anakin's set - wealthy, young, handsome. And while Ferus was only a couple years older than Anakin, and wasn't exactly unpleasing to look at, he knew that no matter what he did, he'd always look like a poverty-stricken chud next to the other man.

"Okay," he said again, finally deciding that if the company was technically paying for it, and they'd get some work done, there was no reason to turn down the offer for a meal he'd otherwise never be able to afford.

"Grab your coat," Anakin ordered. "I'm starving."

* * *

><p>"This is very 'American Psycho'," Ferus commented as he and Anakin were led to a table. "You won't murder me if my business card is nicer than yours, will you?"<p>

Anakin laughed, genuinely. "Only if you talk smack about Huey Lewis and the News," he replied, and Ferus brightened slightly, glad that they had, at least, one thing in common. A waiter came over to recite the specials. "This place has great martinis," Anakin informed him after he'd ordered one for himself.

"Oh," Ferus replied. "No, thanks. I'll just have a cola." After the waiter disappeared, Ferus frowned slightly at Anakin's amused look. "I don't really want to drink in the middle of a work day," he explained, though he wasn't sure why he was defending himself.

Anakin snorted. "Your boring life," he commented, looking at the menu. "So. Kenobi. What did you find out?"

Ferus was trying not to pay attention to the prices listed alongside the entrees. "Oh," he replied. "Well. He's basically a one-man spin machine. I'm not even sure why he's coming to us, really. There's great word of mouth on his operation."

The waiter arrived with their drinks, and Anakin took a sip of his martini before speaking. "That's a guy who could talk anybody into anything," he said after a moment. "He wants us because..." He took another sip of his drink. "You know, that would be something to find out." He looked wary, and Ferus had to wonder.

"Do you know this guy?" he asked, finally deciding on what he was going to order.

Anakin looked thoughtful and pulled one of the olives out of his drink, popping it into his mouth. "I knew him," he replied carefully. "When I was in school." His tone implied he had no desire to elaborate. "So. Did you come up with anything?"

Ferus pulled his iPad out of his briefcase, and handed it to Anakin. "Nice," Anakin said, appreciatively. "Your background in design?"

Nodding, somewhat surprised at the compliment, Ferus said, "Uh, yeah, I went to school for graphic design before Babson." The waiter arrived to take their orders; Anakin set the pad aside and polished off his martini, asking for another along with his steak. Ferus felt a little silly ordering a porterhouse, but if he was going to be part of a major campaign, he might as well act like it, at least a little.

Despite his best efforts, Ferus enjoyed himself. The meal was excellent, and he had to admit, Anakin knew what he was doing when it came to ad campaigns. He still hated that the younger man couldn't seem to be bothered to pay his dues the way the rest of them did, but he couldn't help feeling a little good about where the campaign was heading.

* * *

><p>"Uh, do you want me to drive back?" he asked after they'd settled the check and headed back out to the parking lot. Though Anakin didn't seem impaired, Ferus hadn't failed to notice how much he'd had to drink over the course of the meal.<p>

Anakin frowned slightly as they approached his car. "Nah, I'm good," he replied, fumbling with the keys. "Well. Can you drive stick?" He handed Ferus the keys and slid into the passenger seat.

"I learned how to drive on a stick shift," Ferus informed him, taking a moment to get acclimated to the car. He'd never had the opportunity to drive anything like a Porsche, and he had a feeling Anakin would flip out if he screwed something up. "This... is a really nice car."

"It's got paddle shifters if you want to use those instead," Anakin pointed out, and Ferus didn't want to admit he wasn't sure what to do with them.

He was glad the drive back to the office was short; as exciting as it was to drive that car, it still made him supremely uncomfortable. Pulling into the parking lot, he glanced at the dashboard clock, shocked at how long they'd been gone. "We've gotta meet with Windu to go over the proposal in, like, fifteen minutes."

Anakin shrugged. "So we'll meet with Windu," he drawled. "No big deal." He snatched the keys back from Ferus and they walked through the security station and to the elevator together. "Lemme just grab my notes and some gum and I'll meet you there."

Ferus made his way into the conference room alone, checking his reflection in one of the office windows before entering. To his surprise, Anakin was back at his side quickly, notepad and ad mockups tucked under his arm, snapping his gum. Ferus was a little impressed with, and slightly jealous of, how quickly Anakin seemed to be able to pull himself together. "Windu'll okay anything we come up with," he said, smoothing his hair. "No worries."

"Who's worried?" Ferus ventured, and followed Anakin into the room.

* * *

><p>Anakin had been correct; Windu had barely looked at their proposal before giving it the okay. With Monday looming just over the horizon, Ferus had a feeling he'd be spending even more time perfecting his portion of the presentation. Anakin had told him to spend the weekend relaxing, but Ferus knew he didn't have it in him to do that. He couldn't forget all about the meeting with Kenobi, and he would only feel good once the whole thing was over and done with.<p>

He worked all weekend, and when Monday morning rolled around, he knew he was as ready as he was going to be, but that did not stop the little butterflies of dread from invading his stomach as he went about his morning routine.

True to form, Anakin showed up late - not too late, but late enough for Ferus to notice. "So. Kenobi'll be here in an hour," he said, sidling up to Ferus. He didn't look nervous, Ferus noted ruefully. Then again, Anakin never looked nervous about anything. "Want to go over the presentation one more time?"

Ferus nodded, glad to have Anakin playing his role in the rehearsal. They went through their cues, where they would change the images, which would speak when. When it was time to go, Anakin clapped Ferus on the shoulder. "You'll be fine," he said. "Just don't fuck this up."

When they entered the conference room, Kenobi was already there. Ferus knew what the man looked like from his research; a fit late-thirties with attractively-mussed russet hair and beard, with sharp eyes and an attractive smile. He stood as they entered. "You must be Ferus Olin," he said, graciously, his words tinged with an English accent.

Ferus shook his hand. "Yes, sir," he replied. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with us." He turned to Anakin. "This is..."

"We've met," Kenobi replied, a wry smile playing across his features. "Hello, Anakin."

Anakin bowed his head, and if Ferus didn't know any better, he'd think the younger man was uncomfortable. "Hello, Obi-Wan," he replied.

"How is Padme?" Kenobi - Obi-Wan asked, and Ferus saw Anakin's breath freeze for an instant.

"She's fine," Anakin said quickly, a little too defensively. Ferus had no idea what Anakin's personal life was like, but he had a feeling that 'fine' was not an accurate adjective to describe this Padme person.

Obi-Wan seemed to sense this as well, because he clapped his hands together and said, "Well, let's see what brillant ideas you've come up with for me."

And with that, the Anakin Skywalker that Ferus knew was back. He couldn't help but watch in awe as Anakin worked his brand of magic. He jumped in at his parts, but most of the time he just watched, enthralled.

When they were done, Obi-Wan was quiet for a few moments. "I have some thoughts," he said, and Ferus' heart sank. He'd hated it, all the work he'd done, all of Anakin's showmanship, and Kenobi had hated it.

"Well," Anakin replied, leaning across the table, "why don't we discuss them over dinner?" He glanced back at Ferus, then back to Obi-Wan. "It'll give you time to relax, and it'll give us time to figure out how to win you over."

Obi-Wan looked a little taken aback, but eventually nodded. "That would be fine," he said, standing. "Shall we meet back here at seven thirty?"

Anakin nodded as well. "We'll be here," he said with a rakish grin.

Ferus could tell Anakin was excited about the prospect of wooing Kenobi over dinner, but Ferus had never really gotten the hang of schmoozing clients. He'd never really gotten an opportunity before now. "So what's the deal with you guys?" he asked after Kenobi had left.

Anakin shrugged. "Just a guy I knew at Dartmouth, no big deal," he replied.

"So, like, a classmate?" Ferus pressed, determined to figure _something _out about Anakin by the end of the conversation.

Anakin shook his head. "No," he replied. "Just a guy. Then I came here, and he went to LA, and life went on." Ferus could tell there was more to the story, wanted to know more.

"I didn't know you went to Dartmouth," Ferus ventured. "We weren't far from each other."

Anakin shrugged. "Went there for undergrad and business school." He cleared his throat. "I'm a legacy, so, uh, I kind of didn't have a choice." He sounded a little regretful, Ferus thought, though maybe he was just imagining things. "You wanna know this stuff?"

"Why not? We work together, and I hardly know anything about you," Ferus pointed out.

Anakin let out a frustrated puff of air. "Fine," he snapped. "Undergrad major in sociology, played lacrosse, pledged Psi Upsilon, got my MBA, started working here. No big story." He shrugged again. "Happy now?"

"Well, I know more about you now, so sure." Ferus wasn't sure he was really happy about it, the way Anakin had said it was with an air of dejection that Ferus didn't associate with Anakin at all. He decided not to push anymore for the time being. "Anyway. Meet you here at seven thirty?"

"Yeah, whatever," Anakin replied, dismissive, as he walked away.

* * *

><p>Ferus couldn't believe he was eating at yet another high-end restaurant within the course of four days. Dorsia was even more exclusive than Keene's, and he had no idea how Anakin had finagled a reservation, but he was learning not to question the other man's results. Besides, eating at Dorsia meant he got to whip out another 'American Psycho' reference, which Anakin seemed to appreciate.<p>

He didn't want to admit he wasn't entirely sure what most of the menu items were, but Anakin was looking at the menu curiously as well; Ferus wondered if he'd ever actually been there before.

"So, you said you had ideas," Anakin ventured to Obi-Wan once their drinks arrived. Not wanting to be the odd man out, Ferus had ordered a beer but decided to nurse it, especially if Anakin planned on downing martinis the way he had at lunch the previous week.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes," he replied. "I liked your concepts, but the point of coming to you was to reach a wider market." He set his menu down and leaned back in his chair. "I suppose, given your reputations, that you would have come up with something more... daring."

Anakin raised an eyebrow and sipped his drink. "So you wanted a wider market," he said. "And that's why you came to us."

"Yes," Obi-Wan replied, and Ferus wondered if he was crazy for thinking there was some tension between the two. "I was hoping for something a little less... pedestrian."

Anakin scowled and Ferus looked down at the table. "We can do daring," he spoke up. "Give us until Wednesday, and we'll have daring."

Obi-Wan looked at him curiously. "Fine," he said. "If you can impress me by Wednesday, the contract is yours. Otherwise, I'll have to look elsewhere."

Anakin glowered over the rim of his glass. "Oh, we'll impress you, don't worry about that."

* * *

><p>As the evening wore on, Ferus decided that he wasn't too bad at schmoozing up clients. It helped that Obi-Wan was easy to talk to, and they had some general interests in common. Ferus was surprised when he suddenly realized he was the one running the dinner, that Anakin was remaining mostly quiet, preferring to focus on the olives in his martini glasses. He wondered if it was because Anakin trusted him, or if Anakin was just feeling off his game that night. Eventually, he decided it didn't matter.<p>

"'Scuse me," Anakin said suddenly, pushing himself up from the table. Obi-Wan moved to follow, a concerned look crossing his face. "It's cool, I'm just going to the bathroom," Anakin snapped, rolling his eyes. He walked a bit away from the table, and Obi-Wan murmured an excuse to Ferus, following behind. He watched Obi-Wan grab Anakin by the arm, watched Anakin's expression darken slightly.

"I'll be right back," Ferus told their waitress. "Can you bring the dessert menu?" He wasn't sure what was going on between the other two men, but he definitely didn't want anything to undo the work he'd already done.

As he approached, he could hear Kenobi's voice, low, warning, "And you said you'd quit drinking."

Ferus stopped, realizing that the conversation Anakin and Obi-Wan were having was not about the campaign at all, and that Anakin's response of "That was before you left me," had nothing to do with them going their separate, professional ways.

Suddenly profoundly uncomfortable, Ferus made his way back to the table. Soon enough, Anakin and Obi-Wan returned, and if Ferus didn't know any better, he wouldn't have thought anything was amiss. He looked down at the dessert menu, not sure what to say; they didn't know he'd overheard anything, after all. "They'd better have chocolate mousse," Anakin announced, emptying his glass with a glare at Obi-Wan. Ferus chewed on his lip and said nothing.

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan had bid them farewell warmly and left in his rental car, leaving Ferus alone with Anakin, whose arm was draped loosely over Ferus' shoulder. "Hey," Ferus said, "You want me to drive you home? I can get a cab from your place back to my car."<p>

Anakin blinked at him as if he'd asked an incomprehensible math problem. "Oh. Uh, no, it's okay." He rubbed his fingers against his lips and swayed slightly.

"You really shouldn't drive," Ferus pointed out. "Come on, let me drive you home. What's your address?" He began walking towards Anakin's car, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"There's nowhere to go," Anakin said, obviously miserable at the admission. "Padme kicked me out, my dad cut me off, I can't get an apartment without a huge deposit or a co-signer, and who the hell is gonna do that?" He leaned against the side of his car, arms crossed over his chest. "And why the fuck did I just tell you any of that? It's none of your fucking business where I live."

Ferus stared at him, unsure of what to do, or what to say. Despite financial hardships, he'd never been homeless. "Can you stay at a hotel or something?" he asked carefully.

Anakin shook his head. "All my credit cards are maxed out," he replied. "I'm paying out the ass for this fucking thing," he gestured at the Porsche, "I don't get paid until this Friday, and, ugh, my life is a fucking mess." He slid down the side of the car to sit on the pavement. "And I still don't know why I told you any of that."

"You can stay at my place," Ferus offered before he could stop himself. He wasn't sure he wanted to get involved in Anakin's drama, but he felt bad. Earlier that day he'd been pushing for more information about Anakin's life, now it felt like he had far too much. "Come on," he said, holding out his hand.

* * *

><p>It felt odd to have Anakin in his apartment. The younger man was sitting on the couch, wearing a tee-shirt and shorts Ferus pulled from his own closet, tapping away at his Blackberry, one eye closed. Ferus wanted to ask who he was talking to, but wasn't sure he was ready for more Anakin-drama just yet.<p>

"I'll stay here tonight," Anakin said, as if he was doing Ferus a favor. "But my grandfather just said he'd take care of stuff, so I'll be in my own place by tomorrow." He flashed Ferus a lopsided grin. "No worries."

"Are you serious?" Ferus asked, not sure what he was feeling.

Anakin shrugged. "Yeah. He owns AdForce, and hates my parents, so, y'know..." He shrugged again, leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes.

Ferus stared, now feeling somewhat apoplectic. "Your grandfather..." he sputtered. He shook his head in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me..."

Anakin didn't respond except for a snore.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Ferus prodded Anakin awake and forced him to get ready for work at a normal time. The younger man was cranky, but they only ended up being a few minutes late, which Ferus counted as a victory.<p>

By the time he sat down, Anakin was back to his old self, as if the admissions of the previous evening hadn't happened. Ferus wondered if Anakin even remembered telling him any of it, and decided not to push. If Anakin was happy getting bailed out of his own crises, Ferus certainly wasn't going to get dragged into it.

He got to work on the Kenobi campaign, trying to forget all about Anakin Skywalker. He needed to be daring, needed to prove he had the mettle to make it here, that he was just as good of a salesman as Anakin, even without, apparently, grandfathers in high places.

When lunchtime rolled around, Ferus went to the lounge to grab his sandwich; he had no desire to leave the office today, and had finally been able to push aside his annoyance at Anakin to hit his stride with the campaign. When he got there, all his carefully-constructed calm disappeared; Anakin was leaning against the counter, eating a tuna salad sandwich.

"Is, uh, that my lunch?" Ferus asked.

Anakin looked down at the sandwich, then back up at Ferus. "I dunno," he replied, polishing off the rest of it with a flourish. "How's the campaign going?"

"Fine," Ferus ground out. "What have _you _been doing?"

Anakin pulled out his Blackberry and handed it to Ferus. "This," he said, and Ferus caught a glimpse of the same girl, a smile on her face, wearing a Dartmouth tank-top.

Ferus rolled his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me," he snapped. "Do you ever wonder why people end up hating you?" he asked. "This. This is why."

"Nobody hates me," Anakin replied casually. "I'm not sure where you got that idea." He balled up the paper bag that had contained the sandwich and tossed it into the garbage can.

"Unbelievable," Ferus muttered, though he wasn't sure why he was so shocked. He supposed he'd thought that after the previous night, Anakin would stop acting like a complete dipshit, but obviously he was wrong.

Anakin shrugged. "I've got a conference call," he said, and fumbled around in his pocket, pulling out a fifty dollar bill and pressing it into Ferus' hand. "Sorry about your lunch," he said. "And for puking in your bathtub."

Ferus just stared at him as he sauntered away.

* * *

><p>Instead of going back to work on the campaign right away, Ferus decided to slake his curiosity about Anakin and Kenobi; he knew there was something there, could tell the way they interacted, the way Kenobi had seemed almost concerned, and almost angry, the previous night, like he knew something most people didn't.<p>

Googling Kenobi's name brought up entirely information about his business, press releases, and testimonials from his clients. Nothing Ferus hadn't already seen when doing his previous research.

He next tried Anakin's name. The first few pages were articles in trade magazines about his work and about AdForce in general. Then there was his Facebook page, mostly locked down, and his LinkedIn profile, which hadn't been updated in several months. Finally, Ferus struck gold.

An abandoned MySpace page, not updated in several years - probably since Anakin had been in school. There were pictures there; Anakin obviously had forgotten about it. Between pictures of fraternity hijinks, spring break rowdiness, and several of Anakin with a variety of pretty young women, were other pictures, taken with a russet-haired, bearded man several years Anakin's senior.

In each, Anakin's arm was flung over Kenobi's shoulders, or they were embracing with Anakin holding the camera out to snap the picture. Several showed them together in exotic locales, both smiling. Ferus couldn't help but notice that Anakin looked happier in the pictures with Kenobi than he did in any of the others.

There weren't any journal entries, which wasn't surprising, but he did read the comments pages with great interest. There were dozens of back-and-forths between Anakin and Kenobi, and the affection between the two was palpable, even coming from a years-old social networking site. Sometimes Anakin's responses were garbled, and Kenobi seemed to be frustrated. The last comment was Kenobi's: "I've been trying to reach you. You need to call me. I have to talk to you."

"Whatcha doing?"

Ferus jumped, and quickly minimized the window. "Oh, just some research," he said hastily, hoping Anakin hadn't seen what was on the screen.

Anakin laughed. "Are you honestly still on MySpace?" he asked derisively, reaching over Ferus to pull up the window. "Come on, get with the progr..." He trailed off. "Why are you looking at this?"

"I didn't know you were gay," Ferus said, and instantly regretted it, kicking himself for being such an insensitive prat.

Anakin glowered. "You can date girls and still like cock, you know," he snapped. "It's the twenty-first century, for Christ's sake. Why were you looking at my shit?" He didn't look angry, exactly, but Ferus couldn't put a name to the emotions in Anakin's eyes.

"What happened between you two?" he asked softly.

Anakin shrugged, obviously trying to be blase about it. "What happened to minding your own fucking business?" He straightened his tie and leaned against the wall of Ferus' cubicle. "Windu wants to see us, thought you might want to know."

Ferus stood, suddenly feeling somewhat harried. He hadn't been expecting a meeting; he glanced at his Outlook, noticed his calendar was clear. Well, at least it wasn't something he'd accidentally forgotten about while prying into his co-worker's personal life. "Oh," he said. "Okay."

"And if I were you, I'd leave well enough alone," Anakin added, patting him on the shoulder and swaggering out of the cubicle.

* * *

><p>Ferus hadn't been expecting Windu to be accompanied by Kenobi; he'd thought the other man wouldn't be back until Wednesday to review their new plans. His stomach fluttered as Windu told them both to sit down.<p>

"I want to work with this firm," Kenobi said after a moment, looking at Ferus and Anakin in turn. "But I feel that my needs would best be met by... just working with Ferus."

Ferus felt a sudden jolt, and looked over at Anakin, who had paled significantly. "Are you sure?" Ferus asked. "I can certainly work with you, that's not a problem, but Anakin is..."

Anakin held up a hand. "It's his decision, Ferus," he said tightly, sharply. He looked up at Obi-Wan. "If this is what he thinks is best for his business." Ferus could tell how hard Anakin was trying to control his breathing.

"I do," Obi-Wan said, folding his hands on the table. "I'm glad you understand." He turned to Windu. "If you could set up the office, that would be much appreciated."

"You can go, Skywalker," Windu said, waving his hand. "I'll have something for you by the end of the week."

It was small comfort, Ferus knew as Anakin got up from the conference table and walked out of the room, tension tightening his muscles and making his normally casual, languid movements stiff and jerky. He tried to forget the look on Anakin's face as the meeting continued.

* * *

><p>Ferus managed not to ask for any more details about his sudden promotion to sole exec in charge of Kenobi's campaign during the course of the meeting. He knew it would come up eventually, but it wasn't something he particularly wanted to bring up in front of Windu.<p>

Leaving the conference room, he made his way back to his cubicle, passing Anakin's as he went. He tried not to make it obvious he was looking, but he couldn't help himself. "Hey." Anakin was standing over his desk, trembling; the framed award certificates had been torn down, chair knocked over. With a wide arc of his arm, Anakin swept everything off his desk - computer monitor, keyboard, books - onto the floor with a clatter. "Are... are you okay?"

Anakin clenched and unclenched his fists, looking down at the floor, breathing hard. "Fine," he snarled. "Congratulations." He grabbed his coat from the torn-apart filing cabinet.

"Are you leaving?" Ferus asked, though he wasn't sure why he was surprised. He couldn't say he would be able to stick around after a bombshell like Anakin had gotten, and it was very clear Anakin was taking the rejection as far more than a professional business decision.

"None of your business," Anakin snapped, but his voice was wavering. He was gone before Ferus could protest.


	2. You may think I'm crazy

**title** Suits 2/3  
><strong>author<strong> **patientalien**  
><strong>word count<strong> 3,447 (this part) 13,268 (total)  
><strong>rating<strong> R  
><strong>summary<strong> Earth-AU; Ferus and Anakin are ad execs at the same firm, working on a campaign for PR-guru Obi-Wan. When Anakin's past - and present - catch up with him, Ferus tries to unravel the threads and make things right.  
><strong>notes<strong> Thanks, as always, go to **citizenjess**, who listened to me blabber about this far more than it deserved and gave some amazing suggestions. It's three parts, but I'm going to post them all at once. :)  
><strong>warnings<strong> substance addiction, non-graphic dub-con, implied underage (barely-legal!Ahsoka)

* * *

><p>Ferus didn't see Anakin the next day, or the day after. He saw plenty of Kenobi, though; the older man was surprisingly hands-on about the campaign ideas, and had set up shop in a spare office. Ferus was spending most of his time talking through TV spot ideas, drafting up print ads, and discussing options for different designs. Ferus couldn't help but notice every so often Kenobi would mention Anakin in passing, sounding almost wistful when he did so. Ferus was struggling not to ask him for more details, but figured it would not be professional.<p>

His workload on other campaigns was reduced, so he found himself with somewhat more free time than usual. It was nice, he thought, to be able to go home at a reasonable time; Kenobi had provided an iMac for him to do work at home, so Ferus was taking advantage of the new-found schedule freedom. He wondered, idly, as he tapped away on his new toy, if this was how it had started with Anakin's career too. He hoped not; he never wanted to be in the position Anakin was now in.

He was in the middle of editing one of the TV spots when there was a knock on the door. He half-expected it to be Anakin, but when he pulled open the door, he found his sister, Siri, on the other side, an over-sized duffel bag slung over her shoulder. "Heya broseph," she said, pushing past him. "Me and Quin broke up."

Ferus stared at her back as she flung her bag down on the floor beside the couch. "Again?" he asked, closing the door. It seemed like every three months Siri was at his doorstep because she and Quinlan Vos had 'broken up'.

"He stole my car," she replied with a shrug, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Which, Ferus supposed, for her it might be. "I told him if he wanted to steal anything, he should steal the stupid empty tip jar." For reasons Ferus could not quite figure out, Siri and her boyfriend ran a coffee shop together; a coffee shop that, really, had the shittiest coffee Ferus had ever tasted.

"Well, okay then," Ferus said, not sure what else there was to say. "Your toothbrush is still here from last time, and I made sure to keep your labeled food separate, so, uh, make yourself at home."

Siri sprawled out on the couch and grabbed his iPad from the coffee table. "Whatcha working on?" she asked.

"It's a campaign for this major PR firm in LA," Ferus replied carefully. "You're not supposed to be looking at that."

"Who's this guy?" Siri asked, tilting the device towards him so he could see a picture of Anakin, taken in a bathroom mirror - Ferus scowled at the implication that Anakin had absconded with his iPad for at least long enough to take a picture of himself.

Ferus tucked himself into the chair opposite the couch. "That's Anakin," he said. "He works with me. He's an asshole." An asshole Ferus currently felt bad for, but an asshole nonetheless.

"Well, he's cute," Siri announced, tossing the iPad onto the cushion beside her. "Do you like him?"

Ferus sputtered for a moment. "What... no!" He had absolutely no interest in Anakin Skywalker, not one bit. The other man was an asshole, was surrounded by drama, and had no consideration for other people. He told Siri this, trying not to sound too defensive.

"Mmmhmm," Siri replied, not sounding like she believed him one bit.

* * *

><p>Ferus didn't see Anakin again until the following Monday. He was in the conference room with Obi-Wan, and saw Anakin walk by, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched slightly. "May I ask a personal question?" Ferus wondered.<p>

Obi-Wan nodded. "Of course." He spread out the latest billboard printout and taped the edges to the table. "What's on your mind?"

"Why did you really keep Anakin from working with us?" His stomach knotted, and he suddenly regretted blurting it out. "I mean, you want something daring, and Anakin's ideas are... well, he's won a ton of awards for the stuff he's done, he's completely on the cutting-edge, he's part of the demographic you're trying to reach. I guess I'm not sure why you picked me instead."

Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. "I am aware of Anakin's professional accomplishments," he said. "He's a very talented young man." He paused for a moment. "But given our personal background, I felt that he... that we would not be able to remain professional." He sounded regretful.

Ferus nodded his understanding. He'd seen a glimpse of that the previous week, and supposed Kenobi's reasoning was sound. "He really seems to care for you," he ventured carefully.

Obi-Wan frowned slightly. "I never did stop caring for him," he admitted. "But there are some things that... seemed to matter more to him." He cleared his throat. "Now, let's talk about the color scheme we're looking at."

* * *

><p>"What do you think about trying to get them back together?" Ferus mused to Siri that evening while they spread out on the living room floor, eating Chinese food out of the take-out containers they'd come in.<p>

Siri winced. "No, no, no," she said. "Never mix business and pleasure, that would be a disaster." She shoved a wad of lo mein into her mouth and chewed noisily.

"Right. Because you are exactly the right person to weigh in on that," Ferus replied, rolling his eyes. "What if I didn't try to get him back on the campaign. What if I just tried to get _them_back together?"

Siri shrugged. "Well, why do you think they broke up in the first place?" she asked, leaning against the side of the couch, splaying her long legs out in front of her.

Ferus considered, realizing he didn't know, exactly. He had slight hints, but nothing he could say outright was the reason. He didn't know either of them well enough to truly speculate. "Obi-Wan said that some things mattered more to Anakin," he said, finally.

"Well, like what?" Siri prodded, grabbing the last egg roll before Ferus could and shoving it into her mouth.

"I don't know," Ferus admitted. "But I'm going to try to find out." He wasn't sure why he was so invested, now. He'd never liked Anakin, particularly, and really didn't want to get dragged into whatever mess was going on in the other man's personal life. But the look on Anakin's face when Kenobi had made his announcement made Ferus think that maybe there was more to Anakin than he thought. He wanted to find out, and he wondered if that made him crazy.

"Have fun with that," Siri said, and tossed a fortune cookie at him.

* * *

><p>Kenobi had to return to LA for a press conference with the promise to return the following week. Ferus was almost relieved, because he was having a very hard time not just blurting out all of his questions. He knew it was silly to get so involved in the personal life of someone he hardly knew, but he found he was unable to help himself.<p>

He'd barely seen Anakin, and was beginning to wonder if the younger man still even worked there. He supposed he must, with his grandfather owning it and all, but still. One day mid-way through the week Obi-Wan was gone, Ferus was washing his hands in the bathroom after lunch when Anakin came out of the far stall. "Oh, hi," Ferus greeted, surprised at how glad he was to see Anakin.

Anakin walked over to the mirrors and adjusted his tie, blinking and rubbing his face. "Hey," he replied, baring his teeth at his reflection. "So Obi-Wan went home, huh?" He sounded like he was trying not to sound interested.

"For the week, yeah," Ferus replied, nodding. "Where have you been?"

Anakin turned and gave him a half-hearted glare. "I've been doing some special projects for my grandfather," he replied. "Plus I just needed to get my head together." He glanced in the mirror again, running his hand under his nose. "So. Now you know, and you don't have to ask again."

"Are you, y'know, okay?" Ferus asked awkwardly, grabbing a handful of paper towels.

Anakin looked at him like he'd sprouted two heads. "Uh, yeah?" He sounded confused. "Why wouldn't I be? You're weird."

"Just wondering..." Ferus replied as Anakin left. Without, Ferus noticed, washing his hands.

* * *

><p>Siri had decided that Quinlan deserved a second chance, so she was gone for the evening, supposedly allowing her boyfriend to grovel at her feet for forgiveness. Ferus didn't mind having the apartment to himself; he didn't mind his sister's frequent co-tenancies, but it was nice not to have to make conversation with anyone. He was tired. His phone kept ringing, but he ignored it, focusing instead on a documentary about bears he'd found after nothing else seemed to be on.<p>

He was just dozing off when he heard a pounding on the door. He knew it wasn't Siri; he had given her a key. Groggily, Ferus padded to the door, peering through the peep-hole to see Anakin standing, unsteadily, on the other side. He was wearing fashionably-torn jeans and a tight t-shirt, and Ferus realized he'd never seen Anakin out of his work clothes. He pulled the door open. "Uh."

"I was callin' you," Anakin announced, and Ferus winced at the smell of alcohol that was basically oozing out of his pores. "Why did... Why won't you answer your phone?"

"Do you want to come in?" Ferus asked, opening the door wider and moving out of the way. Anakin stumbled in, bumping into the table next to the door, nearly falling on his way to the couch. "Jesus Christ, don't tell me you drove here," Ferus moaned. "What are you _doing_?"

Anakin turned to him, swaying. "Well, how'd you get here?" he asked, and blinked. "Wait. I had to get here somehow, din't I?" He shook his head and stumbled sideways. "S'fine, no worries. Jus', y'know, whatever." He covered his mouth, making a sound halfway between a burp and a hiccup.

"Why don't you sit down?" Ferus suggested, heading to the kitchen to get some water - and a bucket, just in case. When he returned, he saw Anakin had made himself at home on the sofa, but had also managed to find Ferus' one bottle of hard liquor. "I don't think that's a great idea," he said as Anakin lifted the bottle to his lips.

Anakin blinked at him blearily. "Well, you're th' idea man," Anakin said, and giggled. "How's Obi-Wan treatin' you? He tol' you he's disa... disappoin'ed in you yet? He's _really_ good a'that." He took another swig from the bottle.

"He cares about you, you know," Ferus said, sitting on the couch beside Anakin and prizing the bottle from his hands. "He wants you to be happy."

Anakin giggled again. "D'I look like I'm not happy?" he asked, draping an arm around Ferus' shoulders and leaning towards him.

"Well, kind of," Ferus offered. "I mean, you..." But he was cut off by Anakin's lips smashing against his. He struggled for a moment, but then sank into it. He didn't know why he was giving in to this, wasn't sure what was going to be gained. He knew he was trying to get Anakin and Obi-Wan back together, but Anakin had come to him, had obviously wanted something, was obviously, Ferus realized, lonely. He wrapped his arms around Anakin and deepened the embrace.

After a period of fumbling groping, they had managed to get undressed. Ferus was still somewhat dumbstruck at this development, but Anakin seemed so desperate, so needful. "Do, uh, do you have condoms?" he asked.

"Wallet," Anakin replied, stretching out languidly.

Ferus glanced at him, his tanned, fit body spread out all over Ferus' sofa. He found the wallet in Anakin's back pocket and opened it up. He was surprised to find that, in addition to the various credit cards, there was a picture of two young children, no older than two or three; one with sandy-blond hair, the other with dark brown curls and a serious expression. Ferus glanced back at Anakin, and found the condoms quickly, closing the wallet and putting it back. He'd bring up the picture again, but now was not the time.

It didn't take long to realize that Anakin was too drunk to do a whole lot. Still, he got onto his hands and knees invitingly. "Is cool," he informed Ferus. "Fuck me."

Ferus did. He still had no idea why he was giving into this, why he hadn't said no, called Anakin a cab, or at the very least just let him sit on the couch alone. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered at the wisdom of leaving Anakin alone at all. It was all of these things, plus a wave of pleasure, running through his head when the apartment door opened.

"Holy shit!" Siri exclaimed, dropping her shopping bags.

"Fuck!" Ferus choked and came in spite of himself.

"Hey, hi!" Anakin was the only one completely nonplussed by the situation.

Ferus fumbled for the blanket on the couch and wrapped it around himself. Anakin had no such modesty and just rolled into a sitting position, back pressed against the couch. "So does this mean I get to sleep in your room tonight?" Siri asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ferus threw Anakin's pants at him. "Get dressed," he hissed. Anakin made a show of being very insulted by the suggestion, but eventually managed to get his clothes back on.

"You must be Anakin," Siri said with a smirk, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've heard a lot about you."

"I've got no idea who you are," Anakin informed her, pulling himself off the floor with some difficulty. "But Ferus' already, he's already fucked me t'night," he continued, pointing a wavering finger in her general direction, "So if he can't fuck you, don't feel too bad. You're really pretty."

Siri busted out laughing. "Oh, shit, Ferus, you've got to be kidding me!" She gasped for air and eventually calmed enough to address Anakin. "He's my brother, but thanks for the complement."

"You can sleep in my room," Ferus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Beside the couch, Anakin leaned over and puked loudly into the bucket. "Why is this my life?" Ferus moaned.

Siri waltzed by and patted him on the shoulder. "Because you suck," she offered helpfully. "Have a good night!"

Ferus sighed again, and led Anakin back to the couch.

* * *

><p>When Ferus woke the next morning, he realized Anakin was already gone. He frowned slightly, glanced at the clock, reached for his phone. He deleted the messages Anakin had left the previous night, but dialed his number.<p>

"'Lo?" the voice on the other end sounded groggy, and probably still somewhat drunk.

"Hey," Ferus said, feeling awkward. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't wake me up before you left or anything, so..." He trailed off, realizing he sounded like a jilted lover.

"I'm fine," Anakin replied. "I've got a brunch-thing with my grandfather today, so I needed to leave."

"Oh yeah?" Ferus asked, realizing he wanted to see Anakin again, to make sure he was okay himself. "Where serves brunch on a Saturday?"

"The Plaza," Anakin replied, as if it should have been completely obvious. "Anyway. I gotta take a shower and stuff. Bye."

Ferus stared down at the now-blank phone in his hand. "Hey Siri!" he called.

Siri poked her head out of the kitchen, where she was buried elbow-deep in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "You rang?" she intoned.

"You want to go to brunch at the Plaza with me?" Ferus asked, wondering why on Earth he was doing this. He had no idea why he cared so much all of a sudden.

Siri snorted loudly. "I'm not a lesbian." She disappeared back into the kitchen.

Ferus sighed for what seemed like the millionth time in the past twelve hours. "I'll pay," he offered.

Siri reappeared a moment later. "I'm in!"

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the Plaza, Ferus felt sufficiently awkward that he almost turned around and went home, but by that time, Siri was crowing about how much French toast she was going to jam in her mouth and he figured it was the least he could do for her after what she'd had to witness the previous evening.<p>

He spotted Anakin almost immediately, slunk down in a chair by the window, seated across from an elderly man in a rich burgandy suit. He wanted to go over and say hello, but realized how weird that would be. "Go over there," Siri hissed, pushing him towards the table.

The old man was talking when Ferus approached the table. "What are you doing here?" Anakin asked, plucking his bloody Mary up and sticking the straw in his mouth. "Are you stalking me?"

"Don't be rude, Anakin," the old man admonished. "You must be Ferus Olin. I've heard a great deal about you from Mace and Obi-Wan. I don't think we've been properly introduced; I'm Frank Palpatine."

"It's an honor to meet you, Sir," Ferus replied, taking the proffered hand and shaking it.

"Come, join us," Palpatine offered, gesturing towards the empty seats at the table. Anakin rolled his eyes and sipped his drink.

"Oh, no, thank you, but I'm here with my sister, I just wanted to..." He honestly didn't know what he'd wanted to do. "Well. I just wanted to say hello, that's all." He winced inwardly, sure he sounded like a huge moron. Judging from Anakin's expression, he wasn't far off in his assessment.

"Well, it was nice to meet you," Palpatine said, graciously. "Feel free to stop by my office anytime."

"Yeah," Anakin said, with only a hint of sarcasm, "stop by anytime."

As Ferus walked away, he heard Palpatine's exasperated, "Honestly, Anakin, is this behavior necessary?" He frowned slightly, returning to Siri's table, which was covered in plates. "Really?" he asked, incredulous.

"You said you were paying," Siri shot back. "Some of this is for you." She pushed a plate of eggs benadict towards him. "So. How did that go?"

"Uncomfortably," Ferus replied, swirling the hollandaise sauce around with his fork. "I was supposed to be figuring out how to get him and Obi-Wan back together, not... not..."

"Fucking him in the middle of the living room?" Siri offered. "Yeah, that seems kind of like a conflict of interests." She shrugged. "You both seemed to be enjoying it, if it's any consolation."

"Not really."

The conversation turned towards Siri's attempted reconciliation with Quinlan, which had apparently ended in in her kicking him in the groin and storming out again. Eventually, Ferus excused himself to go to the bathroom, if only because he didn't want to hear Siri's graphic description of the event again.

While washing his hands, he noticed a Blackberry sitting on the sink, blinking with a received message. Ferus looked around, but didn't see anyone else; he picked up the device determined to bring it to the host's station in case someone came looking for it. He glanced at the screen and realized that the sender of the message was Padme, Anakin's apparently-ex-girlfriend.

_That's what Hazelden was supposed to do, but apparently that didn't happen_, the message read. Ferus frowned slightly and, feeling immensely guilty for prying, opened up the rest of the messages.

_Obi-Wan told me how smashed you were. You really think that's gonna make me change my mind?_

**If it's a one-time thing, I don't see what the big deal is.**

_Keep telling yourself that._

Ferus jumped as the door to the bathroom swung open and Anakin sauntered in. "You're seriously stalking me," he commented. "Is that mine?" He held out his hand and Ferus handed back the Blackberry, heart racing.

"So, uh, last night..." Ferus began.

"What about it?" Anakin asked sharply.

"In your wallet," Ferus said, not sure he'd get another chance. "Those kids. I didn't know you had kids." The more he'd thought about it, the more he'd come to believe the children were, in fact, Anakin's, even though Anakin was the last person he would expect to have any kind of responsibility to another human being.

Anakin's expression darkened, and he scowled. "It's a long story, and it's none of your business," he replied, going towards one of the stalls. "See you on Monday or whatever."

"Yeah, sure," Ferus replied, hushed.


	3. It's hip to be square

**title** Suits 3/3  
><strong>author<strong> **patientalien**  
><strong>word count<strong> 4,037 (this part) 13,268 (total)  
><strong>rating<strong> R  
><strong>summary<strong> Earth-AU; Ferus and Anakin are ad execs at the same firm, working on a campaign for PR-guru Obi-Wan. When Anakin's past - and present - catch up with him, Ferus tries to unravel the threads and make things right.  
><strong>notes<strong> Thanks, as always, go to **citizenjess**, who listened to me blabber about this far more than it deserved and gave some amazing suggestions. It's three parts, but I'm going to post them all at once. :)  
><strong>warnings<strong> substance addiction, non-graphic dub-con, implied underage (barely-legal!Ahsoka)

* * *

><p>Siri proclaimed she was getting tired of Ferus' moping. "Look, Obi-Wan's gonna be back tomorrow, and you can talk to him. Maybe he'll tell you, and then you can finish being matchmaker and get back to normal."<p>

Ferus wasn't sure "normal" was something he would be any time soon, but Siri had a point. He had a feeling if he went to Kenobi with what he already knew, the older man would be a little more open than Anakin had been.

He spent Sunday trying to forget about Anakin and working on the finishing touches on the television spot for Kenobi. Monday morning saw him in the office early, hoping he wouldn't run into Anakin. As expected, Anakin hadn't shown up by the time Kenobi did, which meant Ferus wasn't distracted when it came to the conversation he was almost dreading.

"How was your week?" Obi-Wan asked as they set back up in their usual conference room.

Ferus chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to decide how to broach the topic - if at all. He knew it would eat at him if he didn't, but he still couldn't figure out why he cared in the first place. "It was interesting," he said carefully. "Look, this is uncomfortable for me, but I need to ask you something."

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. "Of course," he said.

Ferus took a deep breath, pushing his iPad aside. "I just, I spent some time with Anakin this weekend, and I noticed some stuff, and I know you know him better than I do, and I just... I need to know if I need to be, you know, worried." He had already figured out that he should be worried, but he was hoping that Obi-Wan would provide a little more insight; Ferus was still sold on his idea of getting them back together.

Obi-Wan ran a hand over his beard. "I would recommend not getting too personally involved with Anakin," he said. "You're only going to get hurt." It was crisp, colder than Ferus had ever heard from the other man.

"But why?" Ferus prodded. "He's a good guy, but I just..."

Sighing, Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair. "Some of this is Anakin's to tell," he said. "I'm sure he won't, but it's not my place to talk about some of it." He rubbed his forehead, frowning. "When Anakin and I were... together... he was just finishing business school and things were, well, unstable."

Ferus leaned forward in his chair, and Obi-Wan continued. "Anakin's lucky to have family members at this firm willing to sweep his disgressions under the rug." He slumped in on himself slightly. "Or unlucky, I suppose, depending on your point of view. Palpatine's going to keep paying for him to go in and out of rehab, and eventually he's just going to self-destruct. And I..." He shook his head. "I can't go through that again."

None of it was particularly surprising, but it hurt Ferus to hear it. He couldn't help think that Anakin deserved more than that, but then again, Ferus hadn't been the one left holding the pieces. "But what if things changed?" he asked.

"After this long?" Obi-Wan asked. "He's never going to change."

* * *

><p>When he explained his conversation to Siri after work, she sat him down on the couch and took him by the shoulders. "Look," she said, "I know all about guys like Anakin. Well, guys of his general variety, anyway." She ran a hand down Ferus' cheek. "I know you like the guy, but do you know how hard it is to get someone like that to change? Remember Garen?"<p>

"Is he the one that accidentally burned down your house?" Siri's taste in men was questionable, at best, and always had been.

She nodded sagely. "It's one thing to be his friend, but it's another thing to let yourself get sucked in. I know you want him to get back with Kenobi, but it doesn't sound like Kenobi particularly wants it. It wouldn't be fair to either of them if you keep this up."

"He's not a bad guy, Siri," Ferus insisted. "He was really happy with Obi-Wan." He sighed. "Plus I really just don't want to see him throwing away his talent."

"Of course not," she agreed. "Nobody wants to see that happen to someone they care about. Have you talked to _Anakin _about this?"

Ferus realized suddenly that he hadn't. He'd asked about the children, he scolded Anakin for driving under the influence, but he'd never come right out and said he was worried about him.

"Don't you think that might be a good idea?" Siri prodded. "The answer, by the way, is yes. In case you were wondering."

Ferus hated it when his sister was right.

* * *

><p>It took some judicious use of the shared calendars feature on Outlook and a generous bribe to the security officer in order to figure out where Anakin would be around lunchtime the following day. Luckily, the information he'd come across was correct: he saw Anakin's Porsche in the parking lot of Keene's as he pulled in.<p>

"Why are you here?" Anakin asked as Ferus approached him where he was sitting at the bar. "Don't you have a dick to be sucking or something?" He rubbed his face and sighed.

"Uh, no," Ferus replied. "I need to talk to you." He tried to gauge if Anakin was already intoxicated, but it was hard to tell.

Anakin blinked reddened eyes at him, pupils dilated. "About what?" he asked. "I'm kind of busy right now."

Ferus gestured to the lounge area. "Can we sit somewhere more private?" he asked, not wanting to have the inevitable conversation out in the open.

Anakin sighed again, drained his glass, gestured for another. "Fine, whatever." Ferus waited uncomfortably until the bartender brought the new drink, then followed Anakin to one of the more secluded lounge booths. "What do you want?"

Ferus took a deep breath. "I'm worried about you," he said, truthfully. "I don't want anything to happen to you, but you're being really self-destructive." He looked down at the table, then back up at Anakin.

To his credit, Anakin looked thoughtful for a moment. "There's nothing to worry about," he said, finally.

Ferus chewed on his lip for a moment. "How many times have you been to Hazelden?" he asked, finally, deciding to simply bite the bullet.

Anakin nearly choked on his drink. "Excuse me?" he demanded. "How the fuck do you know about that?" His eyes flashed, anger and embarrassment (and, Ferus noted ruefully, alcohol) flushing his features. "It's none of your _fucking _business."

Taking a deep breath, Ferus re-centered himself. "I'm worried about you," he repeated. "And other people are too." He gestured to Anakin's glass. "This is why Obi-Wan wanted you off the campaign, you know."

"Obi-Wan doesn't give a _shit_ about me," Anakin hissed. "He's pissed because he wanted monogamy and we _weren't a couple_. He's pissed because he thinks I _cheated_on him with Padme."

"Did you?" Ferus prompted. "Are those kids hers?"

Anakin closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "They're hers," he said after a long moment, "and only hers."

Ferus rubbed his hands against the grain of the polished table. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Nothing to be sorry about," Anakin grunted into his glass. "Padme made it abundantly clear she wanted to raise them by herself." He snorted. "Well, with my parents' financial support, of course." He swallowed the rest of his drink. "Fucking bitch."

Ferus winced. "Did it occur to you that maybe she wasn't being a 'fucking bitch' and was actually trying to protect her kids?" he asked.

Anakin stood up from the table. "I never meant to hurt anybody," he admitted, heading back towards the bar. "But nobody seems to care about that."

Ferus didn't expect him to come back, but sat for a few moments, processing. "Four times." He looked up to see Anakin standing over him, fresh drink in hand. "I went to Hazelden four times. Happy now?"

"Not really," Ferus admitted. "I guess I don't really understand." He didn't, either. He had no experience with anything like that, didn't even know anybody who did. Not even Siri's horrible boyfriends needed rehab; prison, maybe, but not rehab.

Anakin shrugged, plucking the olives out of his glass and sliding them into his mouth. "Life's boring," he said, chewing. "What else is there to understand?"

Ferus clenched his fists in frustration. "It's not so bad being sober once in a while," he commented.

"I've been sober," Anakin snapped. "Total of a year at Hazelden, yeah, I've tried that. It doesn't work, and nothing you're gonna say is going to make any difference."

Sighing, Ferus decided to hit below the belt. "Obi-Wan was right," he said, "you're never going to change."

Anakin snapped his head up and glared at him. "You can go fuck yourself," he snarled, pulling out a wad of crumpled bills and throwing it on the table, snatching back something Ferus didn't quite see and shoving it back in his pocket. "Stay out of my life."

"I'm sorry," Ferus repeated, but Anakin was already gone.

* * *

><p>As the campaign wound down, Ferus began to realize he would not get a chance to reunite Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan seemed completely averse to the idea, and Ferus hadn't seen Anakin in weeks. He'd even tried calling the other man, on a whim, once, but it had gone right to voicemail. He couldn't help worrying a little, and even went so far as to ask Palpatine. Palpatine was vague, but Ferus got the feeling Anakin's disappearance wasn't the result of another trip to Hazelden.<p>

Siri and Quinlan had reconciled, which left Ferus alone in his apartment again. He found he missed her presence, and was actually somewhat lonely. Even with all of the work he had to do to prepare the final products for the campaign, he couldn't help thinking about Anakin from time to time, hoping he was, at very least, safe.

His musings were answered late one Saturday evening; he was finalizing the billboard print design when somebody knocked on the door. Ferus got up, somewhat suspicious, shocked when he saw Anakin waiting on the other side.

He yanked the door open and Anakin rushed in, not even asking permission, not speaking at all. He ran his hands through his messy, dirty hair and turned to Ferus, eyes red-rimmed, nostrils and lips chapped, his clothes hanging off of him. "Holy shit, what happened to you?" Ferus asked, though it wasn't too hard to figure out.

"I'm sorry," Anakin blurted. "I didn't know where else to go - I didn't want to be alone and Padme won't let me come see her and Ahsoka's parents are threatening legal action and Obi-Wan won't answer my calls and I... I ended up here." The words came out in a tumbling rush, and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Oh," Ferus said softly, not sure what else to say. "Are you - do you need a doctor or something?"

Anakin shook his head, over and over, and tumbled onto the sofa. "No. I just." He leaned over the coffee table and pulled out his wallet. A small baggie of white powder fell onto the table and Ferus gaped as Anakin began to cut lines with his credit card.

"Hey!" he shouted. "You can't - don't - Anakin, stop!"

Anakin looked up from his task, now rolling up a twenty dollar bill. "Sorry," he said, clipped. "Did you want some?" He leaned over the table again, lined up the makeshift straw, and inhaled sharply. "Mmm..."

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you?" Ferus demanded as Anakin snorted up the second line. "Have you just been on a bender this entire time? Don't you give a shit about the people who care about you?" Ferus found he was trembling with anger, with frustration.

Anakin blinked at him, his eye twitching slightly. "I think... I need something to drink," he said after a moment. "Need to come down. Ferus."

Ferus shook his head. "I really think that's a bad idea," he said carefully, edging towards the couch.

"Then could we just..." Anakin stood, made his way over to Ferus and embraced him tightly. "Just, I need... I need this." He pressed his lips against Ferus' and Ferus squirmed, trying to push away.

"Anakin, no," he sputtered. "Stop, come on, don't." Anakin was insistent, desperate, frantic, fisting his hands in Ferus' hair, thrusting his hips against Ferus' leg. "Stop it!" Ferus cried, shoving Anakin towards the couch. "Just stop!" Ferus, breathing heavily, glared at Anakin, who looked hurt and confused.

"But we did it before," he pointed out. "I thought..."

Ferus shook his head. "No," he said. "That was a mistake." He sat down next to Anakin, far enough away to discourage any more unwanted advances. "Look, Anakin, we can't. I'll be your friend, but I can't... I can't do more than that. I'm sorry." And he was sorry; he could tell Anakin was hurting, was even lonelier than Ferus was, completely alienated from everyone. Of course, it wasn't as though Anakin's behavior hadn't been a large component of that, but Ferus couldn't help feeling bad for him as Anakin sat trembling on the sofa.

"I get it," Anakin sniffed. "I'm a complete fuck up." He rested his face in his hands. "I've ruined everything. I fucked up with Obi-Wan because I got Padme pregnant. I fucked up with Padme and my family because I couldn't get clean. I fucked up with Obi-Wan _again _because I fell off the wagon. And..." He lifted his head, blinking bloodshot eyes. "I fucked up with you." He let out a sharp breath. "You're the only person who's given the me the time of day lately, and I've fucked it all up."

Ferus swallowed heavily. "I just want you to be happy," he admitted, unsure of how much of Anakin's outburst was sincere and how much was an effect of the drugs. He felt bad for even considering it, but he'd realized that Anakin's moods were greatly influenced by how far under the influence he was, and considering what he'd seen, he was prepared to take Anakin's pronouncements with a grain of salt.

"I'm never happy," Anakin admitted, scrubbing at his arms with his fingernails. "Doesn't matter if I'm sober or not, I'm just... I fucking hate this. When I'm not drinking, I get sick. When I am, everything's a nightmare." He shook his head, took a breath. "I can't get out of bed in the morning without blow, and if I lose my job I won't even..." He sighed, cut himself off abruptly. "Everything would be easier for everyone if I were dead, I think."

Ferus felt like he was going to throw up. "That's not true," he insisted. "There are people who really care about you and want you to get better. If you died, it would hurt them even more." He had no idea if he was being helpful or not, had no idea how to handle this situation that was rapidly spinning out of his control.

"Yeah, but at least nobody would have to _worry_ about me anymore," Anakin shot back. "Obi-Wan wouldn't have to fucking _worry_ about me if I were dead." He wrapped his arms around himself and hunched over. "I need something to drink."

"You need to get help," Ferus prodded. "Did you want to, the other times?"

Anakin shook his head miserably. "I came out of a blackout and there I was, four fucking times. I didn't... I don't know if I..." He let out a breath. "I sold my Porsche so I could pay my dealer," he admitted, suddenly. "I didn't know what else to do. Nobody'll lend me money - my grandfather's paying my rent direct to my landlord now - nobody trusts me, I just want... I want what I had with Obi-Wan before everything turned to shit."

"I think he wants to be able to trust you again," Ferus offered. "He wants to know you want to change, that you're trying." He looked down for a moment. "Do you want help, Anakin?"

Anakin drummed his hands against his legs nervously, curled in on himself, tugged at his hair. "I want a drink," he insisted, rubbing his hands over his face. "I don't... I don't want... I just don't want to get sick, I can't..." He sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. "I can't do this anymore."

Ferus moved closer, rubbed circles on Anakin's back. "It's okay," he soothed. "It'll be okay."

* * *

><p>It had only taken two phone calls before Anakin was on a plane to Florida. Ferus paced around his apartment after the limo had picked up the other man, not sure what else to do. He couldn't focus on the campaign for the time being, and he didn't know what else to do. He'd never been near someone so close to the edge, had never been able to have a hand in helping them keep from tumbling over. His nerves felt jangled, his heart heavy. He knew Anakin had a long road ahead of him, and he felt like somebody else should know. He couldn't carry the weight alone. He found himself calling Obi-wan.<p>

"Anakin's checked himself back into rehab," he blurted out once Obi-Wan answered. "I think he's serious this time."

There was silence for a long few moments on the other end of the line. "We'll see," Obi-Wan said, finally. Another long silence, then, "Thank you for being there for him."

"He's my friend," Ferus offered, feeling awkward, since, just months ago, he'd hated Anakin and everyone had known it.

"I know," Obi-Wan replied softly. "I know."

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan went back to LA when the campaign wrapped up, providing Ferus a considerable bonus for the additional revenue the ads brought in almost immediately. "For being daring in so many ways," he'd explained via email when Ferus had asked.<p>

With Anakin gone from the office, and with the word of mouth generated by Kenobi's campaign, Ferus found himself inundated with work. It kept him occupied, kept him from feeling lonely, or from wondering how Anakin was faring. He knew Palpatine was springing for the extended residential program, but he wasn't sure how long "extended" meant. And he had no idea if Anakin would walk out the doors and right into a bar, either. He hoped not, hoped this time would be different. Sometimes he would email Obi-Wan to express the sentiment, and Obi-Wan would return the thought - he, too, hoped this time was different.

It was nearly five months before Ferus heard from Anakin again. "I've actually been home for two," Anakin explained over the phone, sounding healthy and alert. "I had to start going to meetings and stuff, and it's been kind of tiring." He sighed softly. "I slipped up a month and a half ago," he admitted, "but I was able to stop on my own. I've never been able to do that."

"Well, good," Ferus replied, not sure what else to say. He was glad Anakin was getting better, glad he hadn't thrown himself back into work right away. Glad he'd called.

"Hey," Anakin said after a moment of silence. "Do you want to come to LA with me next week? I'll pay."

Ferus furrowed his brow, not really sure how he felt about traveling with Anakin, even a supposedly-recovering Anakin. "Uh, why?" he asked.

"I need to tell Obi-Wan I'm sorry. Like, that I'm _really _sorry. For Padme and the drugs and putting him through hell and everything else." There was a slight chuckle. "It's not a making amends thing, it's an I want him back thing. I want to at least try. But I don't want to go alone. So."

Ferus took a moment to absorb the confession. He thought about the work he had to do, thought about the reputation he'd built up. Wondered if it was really okay to take off for however long just because Anakin wanted him to. Then he thought about Obi-Wan's words - daring, in so many ways. Ferus decided to be daring. "Okay," he said. "I'll go with you."

* * *

><p>Ferus could tell Anakin was struggling in LA; there was so much so readily available, and it could have been easy to forget the point of their trip. Ferus could understand why he hadn't wanted to go alone; more than once, he'd had to gently divert him from the hotel bar, from a back alley, from pocketing the mini bottles on the airplane service cart.<p>

"If I just have one, it won't be a big deal," Anakin was saying to himself as they got ready for their arranged dinner with Obi-Wan. "He'd never have to know, and I wouldn't be so freaked out."

Ferus sighed and pressed a pill bottle into Anakin's hand. "You have a prescription for that now," he pointed out for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "I know it's not the same, but trust me, Obi-Wan wouldn't be impressed with you otherwise. You're supposed to show him you're really making an effort."

Anakin ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, I know," he replied softly. He did take one of the pills, but still fidgeted nervously all the way to the restaurant.

Obi-Wan was already there, ever-punctual, when they arrived, and he stood, with a smile. "Hello, Anakin," he said warmly.

Anakin looked up shyly, answering with a smile of his own. "Hello, Obi-Wan."

"It's good to see you again," Obi-Wan said, putting his hand on Anakin's shoulder and guiding him to the table. Ferus followed behind, knowing he should feel awkward being the third wheel, but not having it in him to be too upset about it.

The conversation flowed smoothly, though Anakin was quite clearly nervous, somewhat uncomfortable at the beginning of the meal. As time passed, he relaxed, grinning openly, looking happier than Ferus had ever seen him.

"Can we get back together?" Anakin asked as the table was cleared and the check was presented. "I want... I want to get back together with you."

Obi-Wan looked up, surprise etched on his face, eyebrows raised. "I... I care about you, deeply," he said after a moment. "And in time, yes, I would very much like to get back together with you. But I think we need to take our time and not rush into it." He rubbed Anakin's arm affectionately. "When the time is right, I'll still be here, okay?"

Ferus held his breath, expecting Anakin to have an outburst. Instead, the younger man nodded and smiled. "Okay," he said.

* * *

><p>Ferus Olin was eating his lunch on a bench outside the AdForce office building, napkin tucked into his collar to keep tuna salad from slopping down his suit, when a black Pontiac screeched into the parking lot. Ferus glanced at his watch; it was 1:30 in the afternoon, well after the workday was supposed to start.<p>

Ferus tried not to make it obvious he was staring as Anakin Skywalker stepped out of the Pontiac, looking impeccable, even in an off-the-rack suit.

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence," Ferus called, smiling good-naturedly.

Anakin shot him a grin. "Obi-Wan took me to lunch," he replied, sauntering over to Ferus and clapping him on the shoulder, proffering a take-out container. "I brought you some."

Ferus smiled again, and put his lunch back in its bag. "Thanks," he said, accepting the container. "I'll meet you in there in a little bit."

"You wanna take point on the new campaign?" Anakin asked, settling down onto the bench beside Ferus. "I promise I won't fuck it up this time."

Ferus eyed Anakin wryly. "In that case," he said, "I accept."

When he thought about the year he'd spent wrapped up in Anakin Skywalker's life, sometimes he thought he would have saved a lot of trouble by just not getting involved. Ferus had never meant to care so much, but now that he did, he decided he didn't want it any other way.


	4. Probably away from you  chances are

**title** and one foot on the ledge  
><strong>author<strong> **patientalien**  
><strong>rating<strong> R  
><strong>word count<strong> 2568  
><strong>summary<strong> Anakin goes to LA alone; "Suits"-verse, alternate ending to the original  
><strong>notes<strong> This is one of my alternate "unhappy endings" for this 'verse. Because I can't stop writing it. Title from "Chances Are" off the _Country Strong_ soundtrack.  
><strong>warnings <strong>drug addiction, suicide, character death

* * *

><p>"Hey," Anakin said after a moment of silence. "Do you want to come to LA with me next week? I'll pay."<p>

Ferus furrowed his brow, not really sure how he felt about traveling with Anakin, even a supposedly-recovering Anakin. "Uh, why?" he asked.

"I need to tell Obi-Wan I'm sorry. Like, that I'm _really_ sorry. For Padme and the drugs and putting him through hell and everything else." There was a slight chuckle. "It's not a making amends thing, it's an I want him back thing. I want to at least try. But I don't want to go alone. So."

Ferus took a moment to absorb the confession. He thought about the work he had to do, thought about the reputation he'd built up. Wondered if it was really okay to take off for however long just because Anakin wanted him to. He decided that it wasn't. "I can't," he said. "I'm sorry."

There was silence on the other end of the line, then, suddenly, "Oh, sure, okay. Later." The phone went dead before Ferus could respond.

He considered calling Anakin back, recanting his previous refusal. He couldn't bring himself to; couldn't allow himself to once again get dragged into Anakin Skywalker's particular brand of dysfunction. He went back to work.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, an email from Obi-Wan caught his attention. The subject line merely read "ANAKIN", and Ferus opened it up, his stomach flip-flopping nervously. "Have you heard from Anakin?" the message read. "We were supposed to meet last night, and he did not show up. I'm concerned. Please call me."<p>

Feeling a roiling dread in the pit of his stomach, Ferus quickly dialed Obi-Wan's number. The older man answered immediately, and Ferus said, "I haven't heard from him recently. He asked me to go with him to LA, but I couldn't..." He trailed off, feeling guilty. It hadn't been a matter of couldn't - it had been a matter of didn't want to.

"I don't want to get overly worried just yet," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully, "but, well, I know him." He sounded somewhat dejected, defeated.

Ferus nodded tightly, though he knew Obi-Wan could not see him. "I'm sorry," he said, not sure what else to say, not sure if he should offer to fly out to LA that night, not sure what he could possibly do to help if he did.

"Just... if you hear from him, please let me know," Obi-Wan requested. Ferus hung up feeling miserable and sad, and like he could have done something different.

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan Kenobi tried to push thoughts of Anakin out of his head. He'd been wary when the younger man had contacted him, but hopeful. He'd gone to Hazelden on his own, this time, had professed a desire to turn himself around, a declaration that he was feeling better than he had since he could remember.<p>

It hurt to realize that Obi-Wan didn't trust the sentiments. Anakin had lost himself too many times, had dragged too many people down with him, for Obi-Wan to fully accept the change at face value. He wanted to try, but he prepared himself for disappointment.

There had been a time when he never would have thought he'd be in this position. He'd known of Anakin's burgeoning difficulties when they'd first met, knew about the semester of his sophomore year that he'd had to leave for 'health reasons'. At the time, it seemed like youthful indiscretion, something that would be corrected by routine and stability. Obi-Wan had tried to offer that, had failed.

His phone rang; when he saw it was Ferus Olin, his heart sank. "Hello?" he answered, carefully, hesitantly.

"Anakin called me." The voice on the other end was strained, and Obi-Wan tried to move past his own anxiety. "Like, five minutes ago. I'm going to give you the address - I, uh, he's really not good."

Obi-Wan hadn't been expecting anything different, he realized grimly as he wrote down the address. "I'll go. Thank you, Ferus."

His GPS took him to a posh boutique hotel in Beverly Hills. He found he was a little surprised; he had half-expected some sleazy motor lodge or something of the sort. Regardless, he rode the elevator with dread bubbling up in his gut. When he knocked, he didn't expect Anakin to answer - almost expected to have the wrong place. But the door cracked open, and he saw a familiar, wary blue eye peering through the opening.

"You can't come in," Anakin informed him. "I don't know if they've sent you or if you've come on your own. I can't let you in." He sounded completely lucid, but Obi-Wan knew better.

"Nobody's sent me, Anakin," Obi-Wan assured. "I promise. Please let me in." He mentally prepared himself for what he would find; though Anakin had fallen off the wagon more times than Obi-Wan could reasonably count, it had always been in a fairly controlled environment. Anakin was completely on his own, and that scared Obi-Wan more than he wanted to admit.

The door swung open just far enough for Obi-Wan to enter. Anakin slammed it behind him and quickly re-did the locks. Obi-Wan looked around, surprised that the only real evidence of what was going on was a half-empty bottle of JD on the bedside table alongside a smudged mirror and the black Amex provided by AdForce. "I'm looking for jobs here," Anakin announced suddenly, rubbing his arms. "I can't go back, I don't want to go back, they're going to hurt me if I go back."

Obi-Wan frowned slightly. "Nobody wants to hurt you," he said carefully. "Does your grandfather know where you are?"

Anakin nodded, jerkily, scratching the back of his neck. "He told me to find something out here," he said, and Obi-Wan had no idea if it was true or not. "He told me to use the card as long as I needed to and find a job out here and then I can't come back and I'll be all alone." His breath hitched slightly, and he went to the bed, grabbing the bottle and filling the glass that sat beside it. "I came here to ask you to take me back," he admitted, and laughed bitterly.

A great weight settled in Obi-Wan's chest. Though he wasn't sure if Anakin was telling the truth about Palpatine, if he was, the implications were disheartening. Anakin, despite all of his troubles, had always been able to fall back on the support of his grandfather. If Palpatine was rescinding that support, Obi-Wan wasn't sure what would happen to Anakin. Anakin wanted to be taken back, wanted them to have a relationship.

When he'd broken up with Anakin, it had been the most painful thing he'd ever had to do, but in order to protect himself and, he had thought at the time, to protect Anakin, he had left. And, he thought ruefully, Anakin had been in a much better mindset at that time than he was now. "We were supposed to meet for dinner," Obi-Wan reminded him. "What happened with that?"

Anakin drank down half his glass and looked down at his lap. "I got sidetracked," he hedged, playing with the sleeves of his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry," Obi-Wan shot back before he could stop himself. "We can't keep playing this game, Anakin." He couldn't come to Anakin's rescue, he realized, if Anakin did not want to be rescued.

"I'm sorry!" Anakin exclaimed, slamming the glass down. "I told you! I have an interview tomorrow, so I'm going to have a job. I'm going to get clean again and then we can be together." He sounded so certain, so convinced. It hurt Obi-Wan to distrust him.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Obi-Wan said softly. He couldn't stay any longer, couldn't look at Anakin and think about what could have been. He would call, but he had to take some time, had to decide how to proceed.

Anakin looked hurt, but Obi-Wan went to the door. "We'll be together," he said. "I promise."

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan tried not to think about Anakin as he went about his business for the rest of the day. It wasn't his place to keep Anakin from falling, it wasn't his responsibility. Except, he kind of felt like it was. He still loved the boy, still cared deeply for him. When things were good, they had been very, very good, after all.<p>

He made good on his promise, calling Anakin the next day, only for his call to go directly to voicemail. He called the hotel, and the same happened. He left messages in both places, not expecting a call back.

Several hours later, his phone rang, showing Anakin's number in the caller ID. "How did your interview go?" Obi-Wan asked, already knowing the answer: Anakin hadn't even gone, probably hadn't even had an interview in the first place.

"I got the job!" Anakin replied brightly. "I start on Monday! I'm celebratin', come cel'brate with me!"

Somewhere in the back of Obi-Wan's mind, he thought it was still a lie. Surely Anakin couldn't walk into an ad firm and walk out with a job. Then again, Anakin's professional accomplishments and education made a very strong impression, and his natural charisma tended to win people over quickly. Maybe it wasn't a lie; maybe things really were going to change. "Where are you?" he asked.

Silence for a long moment. "Not sure," Anakin admitted. "Beverly Hills. Near the hotel, I think. I'm, uh, I'm a little drunk. Everybody's really nice, though - I bought everybody drinks!"

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose; he really didn't want to traipse through every drinking establishment in Beverly Hills, after all, and he didn't want to think about the kind of trouble Anakin was going to get into being in such a philanthropic mood. "Can you figure it out?" he prompted.

Silence again, muffled talking on the other end. "The Frolic Room," Anakin replied after a long moment.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Since when is 20 minutes away right next to the hotel?" he asked. He considered his options: he could go retrieve Anakin and try to get him to clean up before his new job started (if that was even the truth), or he could cut ties now, leave well enough alone. He'd been able to, nominally, during the time before he'd gone to AdForce and as painful as it would be, he was sure he could do it again. He just didn't know if he wanted to.

"I miss you," Anakin sniffed into the phone. Obi-Wan made his decision, and grabbed his keys.

* * *

><p>Getting Anakin to leave was a hassle; the young man's idea of "a little drunk" was very different from Obi-Wan's, and always had been. Obi-Wan had always been of the opinion that when one could no longer walk without assistance or was throwing up, one was well past "a little drunk."<p>

"You're not being even remotely helpful," Obi-Wan pointed out, pushing the elevator button for the correct floor. Anakin giggled stupidly and leaned against him, wrapping both arms around Obi-Wan's neck.

"Love you," he slurred. "Sooooo much." His knees buckled and Obi-Wan had to quickly grab him around the waist to keep him from falling. "You saved me!" he exclaimed, nuzzling his face against Obi-Wan's neck.

The elevator dinged, and Obi-Wan had the untenable task of getting Anakin back into the room. It took some time, but he was eventually able to do so, dropping the young man onto the bed with a grunt. "Go to sleep," he ordered.

"Sleep with me," Anakin prompted, waving Obi-Wan over to the bed and fumbling out of his clothes.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No," he said. He had decided, on the way back to the hotel, that he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't spend his life worrying, picking up the pieces. He couldn't live with wondering if Anakin would ever get clean or if they would be doing this dance for the rest of their lives. It would be painful, but he had to let Anakin go. "I'm sorry, Anakin." He circled around the bed to catch Anakin's gaze. "I have failed you."

Anakin sat up straighter, looking confused. "Wha... Obi-Wan."

"Don't you see?" Obi-Wan demanded, though he was sure Anakin would not remember the conversation, "what you're doing to yourself is keeping you from happiness!"

Anakin stumbled to his feet, bumping his hip against the bedside table. "It's the only thing that makes me happy!" he cried. "And you! Obi-Wan, please!"

"The fact you had to add me as an afterthought tells me all I need to know," Obi-Wan replied, bowing his head. "I love you, Anakin. But I cannot save you."

* * *

><p>Months passed. Obi-Wan returned to his life the way he'd known it before Anakin had come back into it, and did his best to ignore the occasional calls, texts, and emails. He tried to ignore it when he saw Anakin's name on the roster of a local ad agency. He tried to avoid events he knew Anakin would be at, even when it meant damaging his own reputation.<p>

He couldn't avoid him forever, and the few times their paths crossed, a pang cut through Obi-Wan's heart; Anakin was just the same. Obi-Wan had to admit to himself that he'd hoped Anakin would have taken his rejection as the wake-up call it should have been, but he hadn't, and Obi-Wan simply strengthened his resolve. He could not get involved.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" The number was unfamiliar, but Obi-Wan answered. There was always the tiny part of him that was waiting for Anakin to return. He answered to the affirmative, and the speaker's next words washed over him in a horrible wave. He only heard bits and pieces: "County coroner... listed as next of kin... suicide... claim the body..."

Obi-Wan dropped the phone, and did not pick it up again.

* * *

><p>Anakin's grandfather paid to have his body shipped home. Obi-Wan followed close behind, numb. He knew the stages of grief and felt like he was going through all of them at once; if he hadn't left that night, if he had never left in the first place. If he had been more open, more supportive, if he'd given better guidance, if things had been different. If Anakin hadn't pushed so hard, hadn't fallen so far.<p>

Everything passed in a blur; at the funeral he sat beside Ferus, across the aisle from Padme. He let the sermon flow through his consciousness and tried to release his grief. It was impossible. He would never see Anakin's smile again, never hold him or talk to him. Would never experience those wonderful times, which Obi-Wan wished had out-shone the worst times.

"How are the twins?" he asked Padme afterwards, trying to keep his voice from shaking. This woman, this strong woman he'd shared Anakin's affections with for so long, and they'd never spoken more than two words to each other.

She bowed her head. "They're too young to understand," she said. "Besides, their daddy's never really... They never really knew him." She wiped away an errant tear, violently. "Then again, I don't think I did either."

Obi-Wan nodded his understanding; sometimes he felt the same way, and knew he would never get a chance to change that. He went back to Los Angeles and tried, once again, to pick up the pieces.


End file.
